Having arrived at the party I measured the area of interest
and run to the baby football table. There were balls readily available, ‘oh
yeah!!’ One of the girls moved to the other side and we started playing, my
scoring skills were doing well until a guy dropped his kid beside me and told
him to play. ’Hey mister wtf, he can’t even see the table’ I said in my mind,
but he had already turned his back on us and his toddler was grabbing the
reins. The kiddo was useless and no matter how many times I told him to keep
his eyes on the game the balls were passing by and getting in, to the delight
of the wining girl so once Jed came to ask me to play with him I happily
retreated and moved on to another table.
It was a heated game with a few onlooker parents. After we
finished the first match and with victory on my side I was willing to continue
but the father of my three borrowed kids came around so I let him play with his
child. Just as I was looking about for other exciting things to do I was
dragged by one of the girls out of the fun area. ‘I want to go there’ she said
while pointing to where all the other women were gathering ‘I would like to
make some crafts’.
So, this is how I ended up making pom-poms on a Sunday
afternoon.
I f**** up the first one after erroneous information from
another parent that clearly sabotaged my efforts. My two borrowed girls looked
at me with disgust and the youngest tearfully said ‘you ruined it’, pointing
at the bunch of discarded wool. A proud mum that had already made four pom-poms
gave me the horror gaze, I could read her mind: ‘You can’t even make
pom-poms, what kind of parent are you?’ I wanted to tell her ‘I am not a
parent, thank, you, I am here to socialise’, but decided to head towards the
drinks table instead. ‘There’s no wine’, I shouted, a bit too loud, ‘only apple
juice, ‘not even coffee, are you kidding me?’
Alright, this needs to be cold blood then, I took a second
roll of wool and gave it another go, ‘you aren’t winning this s***’. After full
attention and sneaky looks over the shoulder of the other pom-pom makers I managed
it and the youngest girl grabbed it immediately, ‘hey you, that’s mine my head
shouted’, ‘alright I guess you can have it’.
‘Make another one please’, said the other girl. This time I
made a double coloured pom-pom to the delight of the girls that snapped it out
of my hands as soon as it was finished and fought for it. I smiled at the other
women that were nodding in approval. ‘I also want a double one the other said’, ‘Oh dear, my nose is itchy from all this fluff, okay here I will start
it and then you will continue alright’, ‘yes’ she said.
There was chocolate nearby so I stayed in the area until
Santa arrived with no presents for me, buuu!!!…
