How to calm a baby with gentle omms and peaceful energy

My nephew was about to cry and his mum was in the shower so after taking a couple of deep breaths to centre myself i started ommming gently which sends calming energy and vibration.
I reckon he liked it!.. this was his first time and was only able to capture the last bit of it. Have attempted a couple of other times during the week and it worked quite well.
They sense energy so well and immediately perceive if you are stressed and anxious so it is important to calm yourself first not to project it into them.
I've learned loads during these days with my little nephew chick!

Shock, terror…what?

When I enquired about the year-end psychologist visit that my partner attended at the kid’s school I certainly wasn’t ready for what I was about to hear. 

‘L. called you a step mum’ he said. 

Wait…shock, terror….. ’what?’

‘Yes, when asked about any news in her life L. shyly mentioned and addressed you as her step mum.’

‘Dear god!!!!’, my jaw dropped. Inside, an intensity of feelings and emotions rushed past as if the marshal had sounded the alarm but no one knew where the meeting point was so everyone run in different directions.  

It took me a couple of deep breaths to pick up the pieces of my dazed self. 

When I allude that I am a step mum I say it as a joke as I see myself as their daddy’s girlfriend and that was the way I assumed that I was perceived by the three nuggets (my partners kids).  

The realisation that they may (at least one of them) see me as a step mum has added a sac to my back that I am not sure I am ready to carry. There’s a sense of weighted responsibility that I hadn’t truly thought about. 

As a therapist, I know the impact that adults (and other children) can have on kids, a word, a look, a remark; in the formative years everything counts to the sense of self and the shape up of the personality. 

My creative imagination can already see this nugget 20 years ahead in the therapist chair saying: ‘So it all started when my step mum moved in with my dad…’ .    

The circus is in town

I adjust my eye mask and stick the earplugs deeper in my ears as I sense my partner being dragged out of bed by the youngest kid, at what it feels like quite an early hour.

My sense of guilt for not having to leave the bed vanishes as soon as I turn around and fall back sleep.  

Shortly later a kid scream wakes me up, I take a deep breath, get up and open the blinds. A face peeps through the glassed bedroom door (seriously?? Who the hell thought that a glass door was a good idea for a room??). Seeing me up she bursts in and jumps on the bed, ‘catch me, catch me, let’s play the catch the monster game’.

My brain can’t comprehend what’s happening as I am normally a silent zombie before tea so I rush to the kitchen were the other two are eating, leaving food leftovers all over the place. Another deep breath as I head towards the bathroom, on the floor lay ducks, a diving mask and other toys. I stare at the mirror before washing my face, ‘mirror mirror, I didn’t even go partying last night why are you being so mean to me?’

I sneak back to the room, sip the tea and unroll the yoga mat. A few minutes after starting the practice little faces show up at the door. I pretend that I don’t see them and proceed. Taking advantage of my upside-down asana they walk in and it is like the circus is in town. They take over the mat, props flying all over the place.

‘Oh I can do that too’, they say.

‘Wonderful, we can practice together’, I reply. But no, they only want to do the fun poses and start competing against one another and then with me. I try to explain them that this is not the purpose but they don’t get it so I give up.

Competition for attention, competition for the time spent with the electronics, competition for who’s drawing the best pictures, the one who knows best the magic tricks, who’s more flexible, more athletic, better cyclist, smarter, stronger and even a competition for who’s the most successful at controlling the others and manipulating the adults. It’s fascinating to observe the sense of self developing and the use of strategies to be ‘the favourite one’.  

Can kids be taught to just be? Do we need to start competing from such a young age? 

We still haven’t found a better way to come to the world

You think you have an Ego? Well you obviously haven’t spent a weekend in the presence of 3 kids. Man…they have massive egos, hugely demanding and expressed in hyperactive outbursts (preferably very very loud).

If you haven’t noticed it, that’s because you are perhaps too busy covering their basic needs such as food, and ‘wow’ they eat loads and all the time. You haven’t yet recovered from the mess they made for breakfast and it is already snack time, then lunch, then afternoon snack, followed by dinner and the hot chocolate sipped way to fast at the alert of ‘I am going to get sick’ that leads you to the bathroom by a tiny hand (even after the constant reminder to drink slowly). Parenthood is like slavery!

Surely there are some fun moments such as…’enhm..i forgot, but hey I am new to this business’. ;-)

   

It’s Anthropological and Psychological fascinating to see these self-absorbed and noisy tiny creatures fighting around for sole attention of their father among their siblings. I suppose when it is only one it’s easier but when we are talking about 3 of about the same age, the battle for kid supremacy certainly tests the parent’s patience and stamina.   

Disappointing to realise that we have evolved so much but we still haven’t found a better way to come to the world as souls without totally taking over the parents lives. 'Scientists can you work on this please?'     

Before I embarked on this venture I used to think that parents who allowed their kids to watch movies or cartoons weren’t very imaginative but now I understand, you need time to shower, clean the kitchen, make the beds and take a few deep breaths. Parents out there, 'I salute you', I think you are crazy but still, you've got my respect!       

How I ended up making pom-poms on a Sunday afternoon

Having arrived at the party I measured the area of interest and run to the baby football table. There were balls readily available, ‘oh yeah!!’ One of the girls moved to the other side and we started playing, my scoring skills were doing well until a guy dropped his kid beside me and told him to play. ’Hey mister wtf, he can’t even see the table’ I said in my mind, but he had already turned his back on us and his toddler was grabbing the reins. The kiddo was useless and no matter how many times I told him to keep his eyes on the game the balls were passing by and getting in, to the delight of the wining girl so once Jed came to ask me to play with him I happily retreated and moved on to another table.

It was a heated game with a few onlooker parents. After we finished the first match and with victory on my side I was willing to continue but the father of my three borrowed kids came around so I let him play with his child. Just as I was looking about for other exciting things to do I was dragged by one of the girls out of the fun area. ‘I want to go there’ she said while pointing to where all the other women were gathering ‘I would like to make some crafts’.

So, this is how I ended up making pom-poms on a Sunday afternoon.

I f**** up the first one after erroneous information from another parent that clearly sabotaged my efforts. My two borrowed girls looked at me with disgust and the youngest tearfully said ‘you ruined it’, pointing at the bunch of discarded wool. A proud mum that had already made four pom-poms gave me the horror gaze, I could read her mind: ‘You can’t even make pom-poms, what kind of parent are you?’ I wanted to tell her ‘I am not a parent, thank, you, I am here to socialise’, but decided to head towards the drinks table instead. ‘There’s no wine’, I shouted, a bit too loud, ‘only apple juice, ‘not even coffee, are you kidding me?’

Alright, this needs to be cold blood then, I took a second roll of wool and gave it another go, ‘you aren’t winning this s***’. After full attention and sneaky looks over the shoulder of the other pom-pom makers I managed it and the youngest girl grabbed it immediately, ‘hey you, that’s mine my head shouted’, ‘alright I guess you can have it’.

‘Make another one please’, said the other girl. This time I made a double coloured pom-pom to the delight of the girls that snapped it out of my hands as soon as it was finished and fought for it. I smiled at the other women that were nodding in approval. ‘I also want a double one the other said’, ‘Oh dear, my nose is itchy from all this fluff, okay here I will start it and then you will continue alright’, ‘yes’ she said.

There was chocolate nearby so I stayed in the area until Santa arrived with no presents for me, buuu!!!… ©